Joyce Meyer wrote a book, Battlefield of the Mind, and I picked it up again last week. One of the first lessons I learned, and was reminded of again is that we don't have to let "bad" or negative thoughts take up residence in our mind. When we do that, we bring ourselves down and start a slide into depression.
Then when negative things do happen, like getting laid off, we use that to reinforce our belief. After all, the cosmos is backing up all those things with supporting action.
This is, of course, faulty logic. The lay off has nothing to do with the lies we tell ourselves. Those decisions were made weeks and months ago, in a galaxy far, far away from the reality of our cubicle.
We may say something to someone else and think it is perfectly okay to say that because it is the truth. We say we won't do others harm yet do so any way under the guise of truth. In interpersonal relationships we need to pull the log out of our nit-picking, judgmental stance before we begin to examine the speck of dust that might be in someone else.
This is, I believe, innately difficult to do. We are compelled to prove we are right, so much so, that we can't agree to disagree, there must be a clear winner. All that sort of attitude does is make us all losers. We argue and pick and strive and end up ignoring the reason we as a people even exist. Maybe that is to help end hunger, or fight injustice, or open your home to the poor. Whatever the manifestation of your reason to be, we overpower it by descending to the depths of close-minded argument where we judge people and tell them their views are just wrong.
If we do that to others, what do we do to ourselves? Do we have the angel/devil argument about our physical appearance, our transient wealth, our intelligence and worth? Maybe putting others in their place is how we derive our self-image.
This sort of thinking is definitely not healthy.
Frequently I've told others that if we are so willing to believe a negative lie about ourselves and others, why can't we be willing to believe a positive lie about ourselves and others?
What harm is there in telling myself "I'm smart, I'm sexy, I'm successful?" Isn't that a lot better than telling myself, "I'm stupid, I'm ugly, I'm a failure?"
Not only do I believe that I should tell myself positive things about myself, I know that when I do my outlook on life is better and that rubs off on other people. Rather than ignoring the log in my eye, I can now ask for help, should I choose to, in removing it. I might even ask for help in how I can prevent that thing from striking me in the eye again.
Yesterday, I had a woe-is-me sort of crisis - a minor one in the scheme of the world and my relationship to it. I doubted my right to be a writer.
That was the lie I told myself.
Or tried to.
Today, I woke thinking, wait a second. I am a writer. I write every day. Every day I get better, more proficient, more of a smither.
That is a far better lie to tell myself.
Why?
Because the things we tell ourselves over and over are the things our subconscious picks up and treats as if they were real. I would much rather be sexy than ugly, literate than illiterate, self-giving than selfish.
I do this by telling myself half-truths that over time become real and true. My attitude changes. The more I act as if these were the truth, the more I make them my truth.
Here us to imprisoning the negative and freeing the positive.