But, no, this was a while back when there were no hints to the pawns in this scheme about what would be taking place.
About a year ago, I was accused of saying in a meeting something along the lines of, "That's the way we always have done it and unless the client says otherwise, I'm not changing."
For anyone that has known me for a while, they would know those words have never crossed my lips in any professional capacity, and the only time I've used them personally has been in telling this story. The person doing the write-up wasn't present and believed the hearsay and I ended up with the very first reprimand I have ever received, ever received, in my entire working career.
If I had only known then what I uncovered today. One of my remaining coworkers was talking to me about a personality test she once took. I've taken them in the past and they always seem to point out a couple of interesting things and affirm others. All the way back to high school and taking the ACT, tests have indicated I like to work with people and that volunteerism was important to me.
Today, as I was reading a writing blog, the author mentioned uncovering information about himself by taking an Enneagram test. These tests ask a lot of questions about how you see yourself by having you respond with a yes, partly, or no. Now in the age of the Internet and computing power, you get a pretty quick response.
Here is what the enneagram actually said about me:
"Twos essentially feel that they are worthy insofar as they are helpful to others. Love is their highest ideal. Selflessness is their duty. Giving to others is their reason for being. Involved, socially aware, usually extroverted, Twos are the type of people who remember everyone's birthday and who go the extra mile to help out a co-worker, spouse or friend in need."
Pretty much sums up my philosophy of life. However, there is even more detailed information about a Two.
"Twos are warm, emotional people who care a great deal about their personal relationships, devote an enormous amount of energy to them, and who expect to be appreciated for their efforts. They are practical people who thrive in the helping professions and who know how to make a home comfortable and inviting. Helping others makes Twos feel good about themselves; being needed makes them feel important; being selfless, makes Twos feel virtuous. Much of a Two's self-image revolves around these issues, and any threat to that self-image is scarcely tolerated. Twos are thoroughly convinced of their selflessness, and it is true that they are frequently genuinely helpful and concerned about others. It is equally true, however, that Twos require appreciation; they need to be needed. Their love is not entirely without ulterior motive.
Twos often develop a sense of entitlement when it comes to the people closest to them. Because they have extended themselves for others, they begin to feel that gratitude is owed to them. They can become intrusive and demanding if their often unacknowledged emotional needs go unmet. They can be bossy and manipulative, feeling entirely justified in being so, because they "have earned the right" and their intentions are good. The darkest side of the type Two fixation appears when the Two begins to feel that they will never receive the love they deserve for all of their efforts. Under such circumstances, they can become hysterical, irrational and even abusive.
Because Twos are generally helping others meet their needs, they can forget to take care of their own. This can lead to physical burnout, emotional exhaustion and emotional volatility. Twos need to learn that they can only be of true service to others if they are healthy, balanced and centered in themselves."
Now that is a lot of detailed information from a simple questionnaire. Thankfully, I haven't displayed many of the more negative traits of the Two, but I can definitely see those traits are something to be hyper aware of in my life.
The thing I find especially interesting is how those traits, especially the positive ones have shown up on other personality tests, and aptitude tests that I have taken through the years. Some have been very scientific. Some have been created in magazines. Some have been created by researching psychologists and psychiatrists. Heck, some of these traits have shown up in name analysis research done by the Cabalarians.
Tests like the ennegram are a good way to look at ourselves. Of course, if you aren't honest, you can skew the results. For accuracy you have to really look at how you think, feel and react in certain situations.
If you haven't done something like this, it might be an interesting exercise.
I don't claim to know anything about "energy" and "chakras" or things that come out of some very ancient traditions. I do find it interesting how those modalities line up with the contemporary teachings and research by legitimate scientists and doctors.
You can find out more about enneagrams here: https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/introduction.php
You may not believe in this sort of thing, but I found it to be a confirmation, and just another way of describing who I am. Maybe it will do the same for you. If it helps you become more aware of who you are and you can use that to improve your relationships, then you'll see a benefit you can apply immediately. At the very least it will provide some confirmation about what you suspect about yourself. And as they say, knowing is half the battle.