You may remember the five stages of grief that we were exposed to back in the 70's. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote about death and dying and her writing about her patients opened the door to understanding more about the grieving process. The five major components she uncovered:
1) Denial
2) Anger
3) Bargaining
4) Depression
5) Acceptance
Since its release in 1969 nearly 50 years ago, a lot has been written about these stages. In the studies and treatises and commentary written since, some have further expounded on each stage, or perhaps identified more. For instance, some have elucidated on denial by adding the reactions of shock and isolation. No matter, Ms. Kübler-Ross got a whole generation talking about and looking at how loss affects people facing death.
Today, hospice caregivers, families, doctors, nurses and a host of other medical professionals are trained in recognizing and reacting to these emotional responses. Their ability to assist the patient and the patient's loved ones during the final stages of their lives has been invaluable.
What is important to know about these five stages? They can come in any order, may last any length of time, and not everyone necessarily experiences all of them.
These stages of grief apply to more than physical death. Any painful, unexpected, or violent loss may see a person going through any or all of these stages. If you go through these stages it means you are normal.
So, for my friends and my adopted extended family I offer you this reminder. Our reactions bear some resemblance to the stages of grief listed. The loss of our job, so unexpectedly, is a death. It is natural for us to rail against the unfairness of this decision by a faceless, soulless entity that cares more about the cost of the real estate it is renting than it does the lives it upended by pulling the rug out from beneath us.
Are we in shock? Yes. For some, the shock of it may be over, for others, they are still processing and saying things like, "I can't believe this."
After the initial revelation and internal processing of the announcement, some may have experienced anger. I know I did, and still am angry about the loss of my job.
I suspect some among us may attempt to bargain. I don't believe we have much to bargain with, but some will try. Not everyone got the proverbial ax. A handful of employees have been sent to work from home and there is a reasonable argument to be made for attempting to bargain for the same thing, no matter how unlikely. Unlikely because one in our own ranks already was working from home and was dismissed. This avenue of bargaining has a high probability of failure.
Later, some of us will move into depression. Some faster than others (I'm already there). At least three of us had the financial rug pulled out from under us. I can think of two others where the loss of medical insurance benefits will play heavy on their minds.
Please be warned - depression is a tricky bedfellow. It rears its dragon-like head whenever it pleases. The poison that spews from its mouth has the potential to reduce us to a quivering mass if we let it. We can't let its Medusa head freeze us into inactivity, to giving up hope.
Giving up hope has such a powerful impact on our lives. We can't let the impersonal, cold act of termination by the corporation win. That's why we will sally forth and search for jobs, search for fulfillment, search for a way to get past the grief we are now experiencing.
Once we can put the dragon down, we can move into the final stage of grief - acceptance.
The reality will sink in. We will go our ways, assisting our families, finding new jobs, recreating a new foundation to replace the one that was jack-hammered out from beneath us.
Accepting and understanding that we can do nothing to prevent our loss will lead us to something else. While each of us make this journey through loss on our own, at our own speed, we must remember we are not alone.
We have one another. That impersonal company we worked for has provided us with an opportunity to find mental health resources and job hunting resources to move forward. As long as we live and breathe and attempt to move forward we are slaying the dragon. We breathe the sweet aroma of hope. Hope begets strength and life which in turn begets more hope.
Here's to you my friends, that we may get past this unwelcome travesty and come out on the other side stronger than before. Here's to life, hope, and kicking the corporate dragon in the nads.