Today is day fifty of my blog. DAY FIFTY!
And yet, compared to what I want to do...fifty is less than a sixth. I want to get three hundred sixty-five posts written. Then I want to organize them from a free-thought sort of entry into something cohesive. I'm still not sure what that will look like yet, but I'm willing to bet I have more of an idea the closer I get to that goal.
Goal for the blog is a term I am using lightly. I'm really developing a system of writing, each and every day. When I hit day three hundred sixty-five, maybe I'll keep going. Nothing is detailed in black and white. I just had this crazy idea that I was going to document the things on my mind, the things that forced me to take a risk (little or big), the things that comprise my dreams.
Hitting day fifty is a milestone. I'm proud of it.
But it got me thinking about the difference between a goal and a system. Scott Adams has it right when he describes the difference between the two. If I am working toward a goal, then a goal has a definitive end. How I work toward the goal may impact how I feel about myself and the work I'm doing.
What happens when I hit day three hundred sixty-five? Do I stop writing because I've reached my goal? If I have a goal of losing twenty pounds, do I stop watching my weight once I've lost the twenty?
I think, rather, that the concept of a system is more appropriate. My system is writing every day. Every day I write, I succeed. Every day I write, I strengthen my writing habit. Every day I write, I show and teach myself over and over that I can do "it."
There is no end date, no expiration, no definitive goal to meet to determine my success. With the writing habit, the writing system, I write every day. When one piece of writing ends, another can begin because I am writing consistently every day and working my system.
The same is true with working out and dieting. If I only have the goal of losing weight, what happens when that is achieved? Do I stop? I will if that is my only goal. I won't if working out three times a week is a system that I work continuously. If I am working a system, then once the weight is off, I still work the system so that I stay in shape and the weight stays off. If I stop working out because I reached my goal, it won't be long until I need to go on another diet and lose the weight all over again.
It ties in to loving yourself as well. If I am practicing loving myself, I can look at a candy bar, or a bag of fries and ask myself if I am loving myself if I indulge. Most of the time the answer is no,
NO! It's not a failure. I gave myself permission for a taste. I'm not deprived I just want something else more. Because I chose, I am in control. That control allows me to remember that I love myself enough to not eat an entire bag of fries. I love myself enough to walk away from a temptation. I love myself enough to say, no thank you to more.
Tonight I went into the grocery store and I actually purchased the items on my list. I looked at the yummy chocolate in the racks by the checkout. I knew I could have that chocolate if I really wanted it. Then I asked myself, "Is this how I show me how I love myself?"
The answer was "no" and I made my purchases and walked out the door not once regretting that I hadn't gotten the chocolate. Knowing that I can, along with showing myself love allows me to say no and not have a gnawing desire to go get that chocolate. I don't feel deprived because I know I can if I really want to.
In essence, I am being hyper aware of myself. If I decide to have that chocolate, I want to have it for the right reasons. I don't want to eat the chocolate mindlessly, endlessly, having gotten to the end and realizing I didn't even really taste it. If and when I decide to have that piece of candy, I want to fully appreciate it. I want to savor the flavor, the scent, the feel of that chocolate.
When I write every day, I am showing me that I love myself. I love myself to detail this journey and share disappointments and break throughs. I want to put a system into place that I can work every day, and if I for some reason do take a day off, I don't put myself on the guilt treadmill.
Thing is, after fifty days, not writing a post is just about like not breathing air. And when this blog is done, if this blog gets done, I'll have the habit and the chops to keep on going to the next thing.
So, FIFTY POSTS! Great Balls of Fire, I'm on a roll.